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Archive for March, 2008

teawoongi asked:


The artificial playing surface was developed only after research indicated that one of the first domed stadiums did not permit enough light entering for real grass to grow.

This sentence has a grammatical error. But I can find where it is.
Please correct this sentence.

William

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procopio asked:


A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn’t take, and loads them in the truck again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.

“No,” she says, “they’re all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.”

Florence

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Cay *Qualfied beautician 2weeks! asked:


I like cut grass :) and that artificial strawberry smell you get in scented shampoo.

=]

Emma

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Shadow’s Sister asked:


1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won’t park on your lawn.

2. Use it as building material. (This is actually what the Ancient Egyptians used to build the Great Pyramids.)

3. Keep one under your pillow for home defense.

4. Send one to the junk mail company with a note asking them to take you off their list.

5. It’s colorful, use it as a Yule Log.

6. Carve the Presidents’ faces in it and submit as a science or art project.

7. Give one to your boss and tell him it’s a life preserver.

8. Use it as a base for flower arrangements.

9. Donate to the local airport for use as airliner wheel blocks.

10. Grind a few up and give it back to your in-laws in a bag marked “Lawn Fertilizer.”

11. For a community project, sink a few in the ocean and build an artificial reef.

12. Tie one to each foot when you walk through deep snow to keep your feet dry.

Gary

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