Lady C asked:


A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn’t take, and loads them in the truck again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.

One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.

“No,” she says, “they’re all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.”

Darryl

1sexyQB asked:


how do you fish in very very clear water and grass that comes from the bottom to the top of the water? does this make any sence? i have tried almost every artificial bait even live and i just cant seem to catch anyfish. i love to fish so if anyone could help me out with this like how or what to use anything would be great.
im fishing for largemouth bass.

Henry

tuumac asked:


During a moment of brilliance, and a man buys several sheep in hopes of breeding them for wool. He figured it’d be an excellent way to make some extra money. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him he should try artificial insemination.

Now the guy doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he’d know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they’ll stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn’t take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass. “Nope,” she says, “they’re all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.”

Leo

Dark asked:


i have a turtle and i named it bob, since i am trying to find out the sex of him or her, i was hoping that you all can gvie me tips on raising him and finding out the sex(giving more details on the concave and flat parts).

info on bob:
-has wet eyes sometimes, look like he’s crying
-don’t bite
-wild animal that house trained himself(doesnt go bathrooom in tank, only when i stick him in his pan thing.

-Eats wardley pellets,burger,mushroom,fish,etc

- likes to look in mirror at himself
-smart

i need to know what can i put in his tank to mk him feel more at home.

like those white chip-like things they put in hamster/rabbit cages, and maybe more grass and artificial trees,and something to keep him company, lizard, dunno

at the moment i just have plain hard plastic he sitting on and grass spreaded throughout that has been cleaned w/ a few rocks.
tired of seeing him alone he looks miserable at times, and happy like he smiling at times.
bob is a box turtle,land
I THINK HE IS A POND TURTLE
NO BUB IN HIS TANK =C
NOT USING CHIPS,WAS JUST A SUGGESTION
i have responsiblity but my mom tries to tell me that my turtle is no gonna die, due to things missing, am trying to tell her that he needs all these things, instead of just sitting in a tank with food and grass n stuff waitin to die.

Peter

dididdleydihi asked:


A Welsh man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should
try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop
standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they
are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that
artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep
himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all
still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn’t take, and loads
them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each
sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
“Try again.” he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive

them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon
returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out
of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying in the
grass.
“No,” she says, “they’re all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn.”

Tara